Dear Sharebros and Sharebras,

Some of you have expressed concerns about our new apartment’s exorbitant rent. But we can assure you that we’re perfectly capable of paying the rent without any problems. In fact we really don’t understand how this rent thing became a meme – it’s just very comfortably within our collective budget.

Now switching gears to a totally different topic, we want to let you know that we’re having a housewarming party! And it’s absolutely free!

We are, however, offering a few different ticket packages for those guests who wish to opt for a Premium Experience here at Tom, Rich & Dan’s Apartment (TRDA):



Friend of TRDA – $150

• Use of Tom’s VIP bathroom (Max. 2 trips, left sink only)
• 2 Pima Cotton Polo Shirts with TRDA logo
  

Sponsor of TRDA – $300

• Exclusive tour of Rich’s walk-in closet
• Meet-and-Greet Pre-Party with TRDA residents
• Use of Tom’s VIP bathroom (Unlimited, either sink)
• 4 Pima Cotton Polo Shirts with TRDA logo

Patron of TRDA – $1000+

• Plaque on TRDA “Walk of Fame” in Foyer
• Exclusive tour of Rich’s walk-in closet with Rich himself
• Meet-and-Greet Pre-Pre-Party with TRDA residents
• Use of Tom’s VIP bathroom (Unlimited, including shower)
• 16 Pima Cotton Polo Shirts with TRDA logo
• Access to TRDA Washer-Dryer in case of stain on TRDA polo shirts

So guys, seriously, come, it’ll be fun, and there’s no pressure to be a Patron of TRDA – if you just want to be a Friend of TRDA that’s cool too. And if you want to come without paying, great – just put “Standing Room Basic Ticket” in your RSVP (for our records).

Here are the details (which are automatically re-sent to you the day before the party if you come as a Sponsor or Patron!):

Tom, Rich & Dan’s Housewarming Party

Friday, March 18

10 PM

184 Kent Ave, Apt. C-411

Hope to see you guys there!